Sunday, November 3, 2013

Endings and Beginnings

The time of Samhain has past, the final harvest over.  We now spiral inwards as we are in the dark part of the year, a time of reflection.  I have a lot to think about during this dark part of the year.  I need to prioritize and yes even let go of some things.  I have a hard time letting go of things as anyone that has been to my house would agree with.  I have way more stuff than I need.  I have an even harder time letting go of people.  I think people are important.  I think people should feel important.  A couple of things occurred over the past two months that I think will be instrumental in my inward journey and my move forward. 

I attended an awesome weekend retreat last month. We died, journeyed through the underworld and  were resurrected. The message I received was forgiveness.  I have contemplated this over a number of weeks.  I kept thinking it was about forgiving those that have wronged me.  In reality it is about forgiving myself.  I am not perfect but I am perfect for me.  

I also had a dear friend tell me I need to categorize my friends.  I realize not all friendships are created equal.  I am a very closed person and don't let too many people get close to me.  I need to open up and take a risk.  Going in with open eyes knowing that sometimes people just suck.  Myself included.  But I need to remember that some people are worth taking a chance on.  But also, sometimes it's just better to let people go.  Not because they're not good people, but just because it's time to move in different directions.  Yes I would like all my friends to stay on my journey with me but they have there own journey that doesn't necesarily go in the same direction as mine.  If everyone that I ever called friend stayed around I would be like that verizon guy.  I would hate that.  lol

So moving forward I think I need to bring peaceful closure where I can and open up to those that will be on this journey with me wherever that may lead us.  We have many journeys in our lives.  A lot of times more than one going on at a time.   

Maybe I removed a few of those bricks from my wall.  Maybe not.  Time will tell.